Ban's Bad Afternoon
by Rubious
Summary: What trouble could befall Ban on a hot summer afteroon at an ice cream parlor?


Title: Ban's Bad Afternoon

Sequel to: Good to the Last Drop

Author: Rubious

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Ban + Ginji

Warnings: humor, implied sexual situation, AU-OOC

Disclaimer: Get Backers © Aoki and Ayamine. This story is a work of fanfiction and is intended for entertainment purposes only.

Archive: This story is archived at FFnet under "Rubious" and at my home page.

On a sweltering late summer afternoon, Ban Mido ignored a No Parking sign as he coasted the white Subaru 360 into a spot across the street from the Sweet Treats ice cream parlor. Ignoring the fact that he was now out of gas, he raced inside to meet his partner and the Honky Tonk crew.

Waiting in line at the counter were Paul and Hevn while Ginji stood before the cooler, pondering what frozen treat to purchase. Natsumi was already seated at a table, devouring a banana split.

Paul glanced at the over 30 flavors of ice cream and frozen yogurt beneath the glass display counter, and then placed his order, saying, "I'll have a cappuccino swirl on a waffle cone."

Hearing the order, Ban growled a bit too loudly, "Geez, even your ice cream is coffee-related?"

Paul was unaffected by the remark, but decided to cut the boy some slack anyway. He knew Ban was unforgiving about a recent job where he had hired the Get Backers to retrieve a missing shipment of coffee and the pair had ended up with large hangovers. "Let me change that. To get in the tropical mood for our upcoming trip, make it a cup of the lime daiquiri sorbet."

Leaning against his right shoulder, Hevn added, "And I'll have a cup of the piña colada." The teenaged employee quickly served up their orders.

Ginji tore the wrapping off the cherry Popsicle he had taken from the freezer.

Ban ordered a Neapolitan on a sugar cone. Seeing that he was short on funds, he nudged Paul and asked, "Could you put this on our tab?"

Rolling his eyes, Paul sighed and told the cashier, "I'll pay for those, too."

Hevn snickered, "Don't you always?"

Paul answered knowingly, "One of these days, they'll pay me back."

Finding the blond boy seated at a table by the window, Ban joined him. Eyeing the multicolored ice cream, Ginji remarked, "Oh, the white, brown, and pink stripes look so yummy, Ban-chan. Can I taste it?"

The spiky-haired Get Backer tersely replied, "No. Quit asking or you'll end up black and blue."

As Ginji gazed out the window, he noticed where the Subaru was parked. "Hey, do you think it was a wise idea to park where you did?"

"It was pure luck that I ran out of gas right in front of this place," Ban replied proudly.

Pulling up a chair, Hevn joined the pair. Glancing behind Ginji, she glimpsed a parking bureau vehicle moving slowly down the street, its occupant go out and chalked the tires and marked the time down in a notebook. She asked Ban, "Did you ever pay all of your parking tickets?"

Before his partner could answer, Ginji chimed in, "There's a pile accumulating in the glove compartment."

Ban glared at the blond who returned to licking his Popsicle. "I can't afford to. Any money we earn is spent before it even lands in our pockets. Especially when someone takes her commission," he snapped.

Hevn smiled, "I have to make a living, too."

Ban continued complaining, "I swear the cops have it in for us. Our car must have a giant target on it." He paused and ate a spoonful of the ice cream. "Perhaps we could disguise the Subaru with big decals on the doors like the Geek Squad cars. Paul is sure to let us put Honky Tonk stickers on the car," he spoke boastfully.

Hearing the grandiose scheme, Paul shook his head and harrumphed, "That'll be the day."

Natsumi nodded, her mouth too full of her banana split to speak.

"I'd love to catch those meter maids at their own game and give them tickets," Ban grumbled. "I saw a guy on Youtube who claimed he was a video vigilante. He'd videotape meter maids breaking the traffic laws, confront them, and then put it on-line and on local cable access. It'd be sweet revenge for all the misery they've given me." [1

The parking enforcement vehicle had moved down the street and was directly alongside the Subaru. The female police officer, clad in a blue uniform, stepped out and approached the white car.

"Ban-chan, you better hurry! The lady cop is gonna write another ticket," Ginji urged.

"What the hell!" Ban shouted. In his mad rush out the door, he kicked over a bucket of soapy water that a store employee was using to mop up a spill. Ban careened wildly, his arms flailing like windmills trying to steady himself before safely making it out of the entrance.

The employee yelled at Ban for making a mess, but Ginji apologized for Ban's behavior.

Seconds later, Ban was confronting the forty-ish police officer, who was busy jotting in a notebook. "I was just about to move the car. I only ran inside for some ice cream," Ban protested.

"You're parked in a No Parking zone. Ice cream is no excuse," the woman said matter-of-factly and resumed writing the ticket.

The Get Backer figured he could try to wheedle out of the ticket by sweet-talking the woman, but her by-the-books, no-nonsense demeanor wouldn't be swayed. Ban reasoned that he'd just drive the Subaru away and flee the scene, but then he realized the fuel gauge was on "E" and he wasn't going anywhere.

The cop asked his name and wrote it on the form. "Ban Mido. That sounds familiar. I know I've seen this vehicle before. You know, Mr. Mido, that you've got quite a reputation at the parking bureau."

"Really?" He was pleased to learn that his name was recognized, but it was the wrong kind of publicity.

Ban crouched down behind the Subaru and began pushing. His plan was to push the car out of the No Parking area before he received the ticket. The vehicle didn't budge. He continued pushing against the slight incline of the road; the car inched forward and then rocked back against him.

"One more time," Ban growled, feeling somewhat like Sisyphus. With gritted teeth, he strained to move the car which begrudgingly shifted a little more before recoiling from the force. Suddenly, the chrome bumper collided with his groin; the Get Backer crumpled to the pavement as if he'd just been tasered.

Across the street, Ginji, Paul, Hevn, and Natsumi stood outside the ice cream shop, watching the comical confrontation. When Ban collapsed, Ginji cried out, "Ban-chan!" and rushed over to tend to his fallen partner.

Paul could sympathize with Ban. "That's gotta hurt!" Then he asked Natsumi to go inside and ask for a bag of ice.

When she returned with a bag of ice cubes, the 17-year-old remarked, "That looked like something you'd see on the funny video shows where guys get hit in the nuts and people laugh. If we had a video camera, we could send in a tape and maybe win a prize."

"Already covered, Natsumi-chan," Hevn announced, holding up her cell-phone. "When I saw the meter maid coming, I took out the phone and started filming. We can edit this and upload it to Youtube tomorrow."

"Cool," the teen replied and ran across the street to deliver the ice to Ban.

"Ban-chan! Ban-chan, are you okay?" Ginji asked with concern in his voice. His partner groaned in response.

"Here you go, Ginji," Natsumi said, handing him the ice. The blond thanked her and applied the ice to Ban's groin, which elicited another moan.

Feeling a cooling sensation against the jolts of pain, Ban slowly opened his eyes. Through a pain-induced haze, he saw Ginji licking the cherry Popsicle. In his current state, Ban imagined that his partner was performing a sexual act on him, the tongue swirling as he thrust it into his mouth.

"Oh yeah, that feels so good. Do it, Ginji," Ban mumbled. Shifting his body ever so slightly sent twinges of pain through him. His delirious mindset alternated between pleasure and pain.

"Ban-chan?" Confused, Ginji watched as his partner's face contorted through various expressions.

The others had crossed the street to see if they could assist in any way.

Unconcerned about Ban's distress, the policewoman explained to Paul, "Numb Nuts didn't realize that once you see me coming, it's too late to start running." She nonchalantly tucked the parking ticket underneath one of the Subaru's windshield wipers. As she walked away, she told everyone, "Have a nice day."

Clutching his groin, a teary-eyed Ban began to regret every mistake he had made that afternoon. And there were too many of those for the red-faced Get Backer to even count.

The End

Author's Notes:

1. There was a video vigilante profiled on MSNBC's "Countdown" program, who called himself Jimmy Justice.

2. For updates on future stories, please check out my LJ at weisshund.dot livejournal dot com.


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